Do to others what you would have done to yourself. Put yourself in the shoes of your grieving friend - anyone who has recently experienced a loss to death, separation, divorce, etc. Ask yourself: How would I like to be treated just now? What would I like to hear? Who would I want to hear from? What kind of condolence letter would bring me the most comfort?
By applying the golden rule of comforting you will avoid saying things which minimize the loss and are offensive to grievers. Such comments include:
Rather than make statements which frustrate and anger grievers, those who apply the golden rule of comforting are more likely to respond with words which acknowledge the loss and the pain. Some examples of helpful, encouraging words include:
People do make the journey through grief but often it's made "easier" with the help of a few friends. Reach out and do your part.
By applying the golden rule of comforting you will avoid saying things which minimize the loss and are offensive to grievers. Such comments include:
- He’s in a better place now.
- She lived a good life.
- I know what you’re going through.
- You need to snap out of this.
- Now, now - no tears!
- You must be strong.
- It’s a blessing in disguise.
Rather than make statements which frustrate and anger grievers, those who apply the golden rule of comforting are more likely to respond with words which acknowledge the loss and the pain. Some examples of helpful, encouraging words include:
- I am so sorry.
- What can I do for you.
- How can I help.
- This must be very hard.
People do make the journey through grief but often it's made "easier" with the help of a few friends. Reach out and do your part.
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