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COUPLES WHO GO FOR THERAPY MORE LIKELY TO DIVORCE

8/31/2018

America's leading relationship researcher and authority is Dr. John Gottman, the author of several books about relationships. In his book, The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement For Couples, he notes that couples who have relationship problems and then seek therapy are more likely to divorce than those who don't get counseling. Here's what Dr. Gottman writes:

We asked the people who participated in our research if they were getting therapy, and we discovered that there was a reasonably high correlation between getting therapy and getting a divorce. It was more likely that couples would get a divorce if they had therapy than if they had no therapy. This was especially true for individual therapy, but it was also true of couple therapy.

As one who has counseled and observed couples who have entered therapy, I was not surprised to read this. In my limited experience I've anecdotally noted that couples who do therapy often conclude in divorce. There are likely many reasons for this but, from a Vedic viewpoint, too much Western psychology focuses on issues of the past continually highlighting them and giving them power rather than providing a path for healing and moving forward.

SOME GOOD NEWS ABOUT AMERICAN INCARCERATION: THE BUDDHIST RESPONSE

8/31/2018

Alarmed by the high rates of incarceration in the United States, the Dalai Lama (in the 1990s), specifically asked 50 American Buddhists to serve the American prison population. One who responded o the Dalai Lama was Anna Cox, an Arkansas social worker and therapist. Interestingly, once her commitment was established, she received a letter from a man on death row in Arkansas who explained he had embraced Buddhism. His name was Frankie Parker. Cox responded and then visited.

According to Morgan Leyenberger, executive director at Compassion Works for All, the organization that Lama Cox founded for the purpose of serving the prison population and their families, a certain degree of freedom was allowed because of the nature of her professional specialization.“At the time she was allowed to just go to death row and walk around,” Morgan relates. “So she was walking around to people's cells, she was teaching meditation, and also just counseling because she was a practicing psychotherapist. So through her relationship with Frankie and others over time, she came to do prison outreach.”

Ironically, it was Parker’s execution that contributed to the outreach work. “Frankie Parker was executed in 1996 and after his execution an article was written about him in which Anna’s name was mentioned,” says Leyenberger. “Then a few people who were also on death row around the country started writing to her. She began a newsletter to correspond with these people who were in prison. Many of them were seeking coping strategies for dealing with their own scheduled execution.”

That newsletter, Dharma Friends, continues today, and until two-and-a-half years ago Lama Cox wrote all of the content for those issues. Dharma Friends is now in its 226th issue and is distributed in all 50 US states and in five countries. When tasked with teaching Buddhism to death row inmates, the text chosen was the Dhammapada, an anthology of verses attributed to Shakyamuni Buddha.

“Anna chose to write from the Dhammapada because she wanted a text directly from the Buddha that would be accessible to any Buddhist in any tradition,” Leyenberger explains. “She didn’t want the newsletter to be Vajrayana, Mahayana, or Theravada—she wanted it to be all-encompassing. She said that the Dhammapada is a foundational text that is instructive for us all, regardless of the path we’re on.”

(read the complete feature at www.buddhistdoor.net)

INCARCERATION: A SAD FACT IN AMERICA

8/31/2018

The Sentencing Project, a Washington, DC-based research and advocacy center, documents that the United States has the highest rate of incarceration in the world—670 people per every 100,000 US citizens, followed in second place by Rwanda, which has 434 people incarcerated for every 100,000 citizens.

Conditions in US prisons are often harsher than in other developed countries, with longer sentences and more solitary confinement than their overseas counterparts. This is particularly true for people of color. Rather than being a correctional system (as per its description), recidivism is common and a great many offenders are caught in a cycle that, instead of offering rehabilitation, becomes a lifelong process with no relief.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

8/31/2018

It is true that you are a divine incarnation, a perfect being, but when you act out of greed, selfishness, meanness, hatred or other such inferior motives, you act the part of a lesser being. - Wu Wei

SOME GOOD NEWS ABOUT AMERICAN INCARCERATION: THE BUDDHIST RESPONSE

8/31/2018

In the 1990s, alarmed by America's high incarceration rates, the Dalai Lama specifically approached 50 American Buddhists asking them to serve the prison population. Responding to his call was Lama Anna Cox, a now-retired Arkansas social worker, psychotherapist, and a lama in the Nyingma lineage of Vajrayana Buddhism. Determined to put the Buddha’s words into practice, Lama Cox began to answer the heartfelt request of His Holiness. Around the same time she made this decision, Cox received a letter from a man on death row in Arkansas. That man’s name was Frankie Parker and, at the time, he was a practicing Buddhist. A feature story in the website Buddhist Door, outlines what transpired after that initial contact.

According to Morgan Leyenberger, executive director at Compassion Works for All, the organization that Lama Cox founded for the purpose of serving the prison population and their families, a certain degree of freedom was allowed because of the nature of her professional specialization. “At the time she was allowed to just go to death row and walk around,” Morgan relates. “So she was walking around to people's cells, she was teaching meditation, and also just counseling because she was a practicing psychotherapist. So through her relationship with Frankie and others over time, she came to do prison outreach."

Ironically, it was Parker’s execution that contributed to the outreach work. “Frankie Parker was executed in 1996 and after his execution an article was written about him in which Anna’s name was mentioned,” says Leyenberger. “Then a few people who were also on death row around the country started writing to her. She began a newsletter to correspond with these people who were in prison. Many of them were seeking coping strategies for dealing with their own scheduled execution.”

That newsletter, Dharma Friends, continues today, and until two-and-a-half years ago Lama Cox wrote all of the content for those issues. Dharma Friends is now in its 226th issue and is distributed in all 50 US states and in five countries. When tasked with teaching Buddhism to death row inmates, the text chosen was the Dhammapada, an anthology of verses attributed to Shakyamuni Buddha.

“Anna chose to write from the Dhammapada because she wanted a text directly from the Buddha that would be accessible to any Buddhist in any tradition,” Leyenberger explains. “She didn’t want the newsletter to be Vajrayana, Mahayana, or Theravada—she wanted it to be all-encompassing. She said that the Dhammapada is a foundational text that is instructive for us all, regardless of the path we’re on.”

(read the full feature at : www.buddhistdoor.net)

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

8/30/2018

Mere outer revolutions end in violence without an inner revolution in consciousness. - David Frawley

YOU CAN GROW AND EVOLVE SPIRITUALLY WITHOUT A TEACHER OR "GURU"

8/29/2018

There is much written about the task of "finding my teacher" when it comes to enlightenment and spiritual evolution. While a good teacher can be a powerful force and influence, the Buddha taught that "walking alone" can bring a woman or man to enlightenment. Actually, it was the way the Buddha experienced his own awakening. Inwardly, he said "no" repeatedly to teacher after teacher and kept looking before finally giving up.

The question - do I need a teacher or guru? - was answered by the Buddha in one of the earliest texts to record his teachings. It''s called the "Rhinoceros Sutra" because it offers this advice: "Wander alone, like a rhinoceros". Those words refer to the many individuals who evolve and become enlightened without the aid of a mentor.

Today, with so much access to information via books and the internet, enlightenment is even more accessible without being in the physical presence of a teacher. So, continue you path with sincerity along with an open mind and an open heart.

(feel free to re-post and/or share on social media)

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

8/29/2018

If your heart is pure and your motivations are those of the superior person, your words will be direct and powerful, and your actions will produce far-reaching, beneficial effects. - Wu Wei

THE TWO SIDES OF BILL COSBY - SHADOW AND LIGHT

8/28/2018

As I've evolved and matured I've become profoundly aware that we all carry with us and, at times, exhibit both light and shadow, good and not-so-good. This is certainly true of Bill Cosby who has been in news headlines over his shadow/dark side.

However, like each one of us, Cosby is not all darkness. When Martin Luther King, Jr., was assassinated, Coretta Scott King recalls that of the many who came to comfort, it was Bill Cosby's visit which was "the most touching".

Cosby arrived uninvited at Mrs. King's home. He brought with him his actor colleague, Robert Culp. At the time, both men were famous for being an integrated team in the hit TV program "I Spy". Mrs. King says neither Cosby nor Culp asked to see her but, seeing her frightened, lonely sons, "spent most of the afternoon playing with my boys, because they felt that this was the best contribution they could make."

IF GANDHI TOOK A YOGA CLASS TODAY

8/28/2018

I'm not on Facebook so someone sent me this short, hilarious, video titled "If Gandhi Took A Yoga Class Today." Check it out - copy and past this address in your search bar:

https://www.facebook.com/CollegeHumor/videos/10155902428442807/

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Victor M. Parachin ...is a

Vedic educator, yoga instructor, meditation teacher and author of a dozen books. Buy his books at amazon or your local bookstore.

Victor M. Parachin ...is a

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