- unhealthy habits – eating too much or too little, running from your feelings.
- going it alone – while independence can be a powerful, positive virtue, there are times when going it alone means going nowhere. Let people help you.
- addictive/abusive behavior - “Addictions are serious problems in society and are never welcome in grief. Recognize that you may need to surround yourself with friends and sponsors who can provide a safety net at this difficult time.”
Whenever you are grieving a loss whether it is a death, a separation, divorce, job loss, etc., don't hinder your healing. Here are three pitfalls to avoid.
When it comes to living happy and fulfilled lives, we humans need meaning, we need purpose. People who feel there is a deeper purpose and meaning in what they are doing in their day-to-day lives tend to be happier, healthier, and more satisfied. Research shows, for example, that a life orientated towards meaning brings greater satisfaction than a life oriented toward hedonic pleasure. Those that have a strong sense of purpose in life live longer, and having a strong sense of purpose may be just as good for your health as engaging in regular exercise. - Christopher Boyce
Listening does not simply mean letting a sound enter our ears.... We need to listen well and we must listen a lot. - Jampa Tegchok
Skillful farmers don’t throw away their manure.
They use it. - Buddha in Lakavatara Sutra
Writing in Oprah Magazine, spiritual teacher and medical doctor Deepak Chopra responded to a parent asking how to deal with her adult child addict. Here's Dr. Dhopra's wisdom:
In spiritual terms, this is an issue about attachment. Attachment makes you feel obsessed about your children's lives. It makes their pain feel like yours. You all but lose the boundary between you and them.
You can get beyond such attachments through a process that involves the following steps:
Florida State University President John Thrasher and the board of trustees Friday committed $30,000 of their personal money to cover law school costs for Joshua Quick.
Quick, a second-year law student at FSU, has been hailed as a hero for his efforts in attacking the shooter who opened fire Nov. 2 at the Hot Yoga studio in Tallahassee.
Two people, Dr. Nancy Van Vessem, 61, an internist and medical director for Capital Health Plan, and Maura Binkley, a 21-year-old student majoring in German and English at FSU, were killed in the shooting.
Five other people were wounded.
Quick, in an interview with ABC’s “Good Morning America,” said after shooter Scott Beierle fired shots inside the Midtown studio, he confronted him with a vacuum cleaner, hitting him over the head when the shooter’s weapon stopped firing. Quick was pistol-whipped and bloodied, but went after Beirle again, hitting him with a broom. The exchange allowed others to escape the studio.
Some time ago I read a New York Times obituary which lead with this headline "Bob Fletcher Dies at 101 Saved Farms Of Japanese Americans". Normally obituaries in the Times are mainly about the wealthy, powerful and influential. I'd never heard of Bob Fletcher so I read with increasing amazement.
After the attack on Pearl Harbor on Dec. 7, 1941, the American government forced 120,000 Japanese-Americans on the West Coast out of their homes and businesses into internment camps. One of those affected by this bleak moment in American history was Al Tsukamoto, whose parents arrived in the United States in 1904. Tsukamoto owned and operated the family fruit farm in California. Rather than simply abandon the farm and see the business destroyed, Tsukamoto looked for a compassionate American he could ask to help him. This was not easy to do as Pearl Harbor had just been bombed by the Japanese placing anger toward those of Japanese ancestry at an all time high.
Tsukamoto approached Bob Fletcher, a young man in his early 30s who worked as a farm inspector for the State of California. Tsukamoto asked Fletcher to consider this business proposal: would he be willing to operate the family farm, pay the taxes and the mortgage while the Tsukamoto family were confined. In return, Tsukamoto told Fletcher he could keep all the profits. Fletcher agreed, quit his job and for the next three years worked 18 hour days operating a fruit farm. Faithfully, he paid the taxes and kept up with the mortgage payments. Fletcher kept only half the profits as his 'salary'. Though Tsukamoto told him to live in his family home, Fletcher stayed in the bunkhouse Tsukamoto had built for migrant workers. Each week, he cleaned and maintained the Tsukamoto residence while waiting for their return.
Whereas most Japanese-American families lost their property and businesses while they were in camps, Tsukamoto came back in 1945 to discover he still had his family farm and that he had money in a bank . . . all because one compassionate American was willing to help.
Whereas disappointment can be the first step to wisdom, resentment brings only disaster. - Jampa Thaye
Most religions in the world fall under the categorical umbrella of monotheism or polytheism due to their unchangeable doctrine and the super natural beings who created the cosmos or harbor the might to save their souls. Buddhism falls under neither. Instead, it illuminates the mysteries of our existence through the law of karma as well as pratityasamutpada or interdependent origination. It is certainly not an ethnocentric tradition and cannot be used as a basis of class or cast, consecrated by the words of the highest Devine. It is an egalitarian spiritual system that regards all human beings as equal to each other, all have Buddha nature. It also should not be rendered as the building blocks for cultural and national identity. Those who practice Buddhism are Buddhist regardless of their race, gender, or location; be it in little hut community in the Amazonian jungle or tent in Sahara desert. - Anam Thubten Rinpoche
Victor M. Parachin ...is a
Vedic educator, yoga instructor, meditation teacher and author of a dozen books. Buy his books at amazon or your local bookstore.