If you’ve recently had the unwelcome experience of a loss – the death of a good friend or family member or beloved animal companion, the ending of a significant relationship, or perhaps the loss of health, the ensuing emotion is grief. Even this bitter taste of life can be the occasion to deepen our practice of mindfulness. Here ten ways to grieve mindfully and process the pain skillfully.
1. Mindful breathing. Grief produces stress and when you are stressed there are physical changes such as increased heart rate, fast breathing, and high blood pressure. The shortest route to reducing this stress is to breath deeply and slowly. When you breathe deeply, it sends a message to your brain to calm down and relax. This is one way to do this. Sit quietly and comfortably. On your inhale say to yourself “in”; on your exhale say to yourself “out”. Repeat for five minutes or more.
2. Mindful thoughts. When grieving it's easy to let the mind gravitate toward negative, catastrophic thinking. However, it doesn't need to be that way. Rather than have your mind manage you and your feelings, flip the switch and manage your mind training it to think positively and optimistically. Whenever negative thoughts emerge replace them with positive ones. Move from “I can't” and “I'm not able” toward “I can” and “I am able”.
3. Mindful words. Pay attention to the way way you speak. Is your vocabulary positive and uplifting or does it tend to focus on the negative and pessimistic. Use words, phrases and sentences which build up, encourage, inspire and applaud yourself and all those you come in contact with.
4. Mindful support. There are individuals around you who want to be as helpful as possible. Be mindful of who they are. Don't hesitate to lean on them from time to time. Avoid the temptation to isolate yourself when you are struggling. Reach out and let someone touch you.
5. Mindful action. Take steps necessary to learn about and adopt new coping skills to help you through the hardest days. Perhaps you could research and read online information about loss, grief and recovery. This would be a positive mindful act.
6. Mindful silence. There is a time to speak there is a time to be silent. Honoring these two will bring balance to your life an experience. Mindful silence can involve spending time alone in meditation, prayer, reflection, contemplation.
7. Mindful eating. Grief disrupts appetite. Some grievers eat too little while others over eat. Practice mindfulness at meals. Be sure to mindfully eat fresh, healthy foods to keep your body strong during your grief journey. If preparing meals for just yourself is uninspiring, use this as a reason to invite company over for a meal or try a new restaurant with a friend.
8. Mindful exercise. To offset the shock and sadness of grief, engage in regular exercise most days of the week. Studies reveal that exercise is just as effective for reducing depression as are anti-depressant drugs. Even if you feel you can't possibly drag yourself out of bed, get up and get moving. Think carefully about an activity that appeals to you – hiking, biking, swimming, yoga, group fitness classes, dancing, kayaking – and do it.
9. Mindful determination. Grief doesn't allow you to rewind your life so it's important to find ways of motivating yourself to keep moving forward. This means cultivating a deeper determination, the will to overcome grief and regain the joys of living.
10. Mindful possibilities. As grief eases and days become lighter and brighter, be be mindful about your future, about your ability to move forward and reinvent yourself.
(please feel free to re-post or share and link on your social media)
1. Mindful breathing. Grief produces stress and when you are stressed there are physical changes such as increased heart rate, fast breathing, and high blood pressure. The shortest route to reducing this stress is to breath deeply and slowly. When you breathe deeply, it sends a message to your brain to calm down and relax. This is one way to do this. Sit quietly and comfortably. On your inhale say to yourself “in”; on your exhale say to yourself “out”. Repeat for five minutes or more.
2. Mindful thoughts. When grieving it's easy to let the mind gravitate toward negative, catastrophic thinking. However, it doesn't need to be that way. Rather than have your mind manage you and your feelings, flip the switch and manage your mind training it to think positively and optimistically. Whenever negative thoughts emerge replace them with positive ones. Move from “I can't” and “I'm not able” toward “I can” and “I am able”.
3. Mindful words. Pay attention to the way way you speak. Is your vocabulary positive and uplifting or does it tend to focus on the negative and pessimistic. Use words, phrases and sentences which build up, encourage, inspire and applaud yourself and all those you come in contact with.
4. Mindful support. There are individuals around you who want to be as helpful as possible. Be mindful of who they are. Don't hesitate to lean on them from time to time. Avoid the temptation to isolate yourself when you are struggling. Reach out and let someone touch you.
5. Mindful action. Take steps necessary to learn about and adopt new coping skills to help you through the hardest days. Perhaps you could research and read online information about loss, grief and recovery. This would be a positive mindful act.
6. Mindful silence. There is a time to speak there is a time to be silent. Honoring these two will bring balance to your life an experience. Mindful silence can involve spending time alone in meditation, prayer, reflection, contemplation.
7. Mindful eating. Grief disrupts appetite. Some grievers eat too little while others over eat. Practice mindfulness at meals. Be sure to mindfully eat fresh, healthy foods to keep your body strong during your grief journey. If preparing meals for just yourself is uninspiring, use this as a reason to invite company over for a meal or try a new restaurant with a friend.
8. Mindful exercise. To offset the shock and sadness of grief, engage in regular exercise most days of the week. Studies reveal that exercise is just as effective for reducing depression as are anti-depressant drugs. Even if you feel you can't possibly drag yourself out of bed, get up and get moving. Think carefully about an activity that appeals to you – hiking, biking, swimming, yoga, group fitness classes, dancing, kayaking – and do it.
9. Mindful determination. Grief doesn't allow you to rewind your life so it's important to find ways of motivating yourself to keep moving forward. This means cultivating a deeper determination, the will to overcome grief and regain the joys of living.
10. Mindful possibilities. As grief eases and days become lighter and brighter, be be mindful about your future, about your ability to move forward and reinvent yourself.
(please feel free to re-post or share and link on your social media)
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