Several years ago, P. H. Wright, a professor at the University of North Dakota, authored a professional paper in which he outlined the qualities for real friendship. If you have a friendship which feels 'off', look over this list of 8 qualities. It's likely that several of them are absent in the friendship which has weakened it significantly.
- Voluntary - You’re not dragged into it.
- Informal – Unlike being selected for a team or hired for a job, friends don’t make rules but let the friendship simply evolve.
- Dynamic – Friendships ebb and flow with various changes such as getting married or moving away.
- Satisfying – there are more good times than bad. If that’s reversed, it’s not a healthy friendship.
- Communication – there is honest talk which goes deeper than discussing weather or work.
- Mutually accepting – friends remain loyal and intuitively factor in understanding and roll with ones oddities.
- Enjoyable – friends enjoy each others’ company and convey this in various ways.
- Reciprocal – friendship works both ways. If one dominates by constantly needing the friend to provide support and a listening ear for various dramas, the friendship is distorted and will likely end.
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