RECOGNIZE AND CORRECT YOUR FAULTS . . . BUT ALWAYS BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF

Rabbi Joseph Telushkin wisely observes that "because we all have flaws, the most important struggle in which we must engage is with ourselves." However, in order to correct our shortcomings we first need to be aware of them. For this to happen, Rabbi Telushkin advises taking some time to carefully "write down what you feel are your most obvious character flaws and weaknesses." Only this way can we gain an intimate awareness of our true character. Rabbi Telushkin offers these sample questions to glean character insight -

• Am I prone to anger? When I am angry, do I over react and so or do things that inflict pain on others?
  
• Do I judge others fairly, or am I harshly critical (both in what I say and what I think)?
  
• Do I speak curtly, making people feel that I have no time for them?
  
• Am I moody? Do I make people around me feel that they are somehow responsible for my moods. Does my unhappiness affect the atmosphere in my home?
  
• Do I treat strangers with more consideration than members of my own family?
  
• Do I take other people's kind behavior for granted or do I go out of my way to express thanks and help those have been kind to me?
  
• Do I blame my wrongful actions and mistakes on others or do I take responsibility for the wrong I do?
  
• Do I jump to conclusions before I know all the facts?
  
• Do I bear grudges and remain angry at others for a long time?
  
• Am I jealous of the success of others?
  

Of course, developing a list like this can feel negative so Rabbi Telushkin offers this insight: "Do not become discouraged even if you find that you have many weaknesses. Drawing up a list is the first and most important step in changing your character for the better." He also recommends working on improving one quality a time rather than several in order to avoid becoming overwhelmed.