QUIT MAKING DEATH, LOSS AND GRIEF HARDER: AVOID THIS

Across the years, I've spent ample time with grievers - those who have lost a loved one to death - and conducted hundreds of funerals.  Too often I witnessed the ways people complicate their loss and make the grief more difficult.  One of those is the denial of the words "dead" and "death".  Because it’s emotionally difficult to inform people about a death, many have resorted to the use of euphemisms – the substitution of an inoffensive word or phrase in order to soften unpleasant information.

However, euphemisms which mask the reality of death run the risk of setting up complicated grief. Here are some common euphemisms which should be avoided, especially with vulnerable individuals such as children and even adults who may take the information literally.

• we lost him
  
• she’s gone to sleep
  
• he kicked the bucket
  
• she’s pushing up daisies
• he went on a trip
  
• she’s gone to a better place
  
• he passed on, passed away
  
• she’s asleep
  

If you have the difficult task of informing someone has died, speak directly, clearly and with sensitivity. In the case of children use age appropriate language.