According to sociologists there is a loneliness "epidemic" in this country. While people do have connections with others via family, work, and social media, many, perhaps a majority, still feel lonely. A key reason for this may be the reality that developing a friendship takes time, considerably more time than may be expected. In fact, it can take 200 or more hours of time together to establish a "best" friend according to researcher Jeffrey Hall, professor of communications studies at the University of Kansas.
Building on earlier studies which indicate we have four levels of relationships: acquaintances, casual friends, friends and good/best friends, Hall conducted several studies arriving at these conclusions - it took about 50 hours of interaction to move from acquaintance to casual friend, about 90 hours to move from casual friend to friend, and more than 200 hours to qualify as a best friend. Those who never got beyond being acquaintances usually had spent no more than 30 hours together—the equivalent perhaps of being in the same class a few hours a week, but not seeing each other outside of the classroom.
The conclusions Hall draws from this work are straightforward, but important. “You have to invest," time and energy in order to have a deeper and authentic friendship.
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Building on earlier studies which indicate we have four levels of relationships: acquaintances, casual friends, friends and good/best friends, Hall conducted several studies arriving at these conclusions - it took about 50 hours of interaction to move from acquaintance to casual friend, about 90 hours to move from casual friend to friend, and more than 200 hours to qualify as a best friend. Those who never got beyond being acquaintances usually had spent no more than 30 hours together—the equivalent perhaps of being in the same class a few hours a week, but not seeing each other outside of the classroom.
The conclusions Hall draws from this work are straightforward, but important. “You have to invest," time and energy in order to have a deeper and authentic friendship.
ll
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