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Indra Devi, a woman who was one of the first to bring Yoga to the West, tells of a unique custom for ending an argument. Calling it an “extraordinarily sensible” approach she first learned it from a Russian friend who showed her a small brass tray with two candle holders.
It’s purpose was to help a couple make up after a fight when neither wants to be the first to break the silence. All one of them has to do is light a candle and show a desire to end the “cold war”.
After the other partner lights an answering candle, both know the fight is over. “Of course, sometimes a lone candle goes on burning for days before harmony is restored,” she observes. Additionally, it is customary for the couples to sit in meditation or in prayer before this family alter silently expressing gratitude that “their hearts have been cleansed and their minds free of anger and confusion.”
It’s purpose was to help a couple make up after a fight when neither wants to be the first to break the silence. All one of them has to do is light a candle and show a desire to end the “cold war”.
After the other partner lights an answering candle, both know the fight is over. “Of course, sometimes a lone candle goes on burning for days before harmony is restored,” she observes. Additionally, it is customary for the couples to sit in meditation or in prayer before this family alter silently expressing gratitude that “their hearts have been cleansed and their minds free of anger and confusion.”
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Speak the truth at all cost. Speak a little. Speak sweetly. - Swami Sivananda
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Learn from your experiences. Even negative experiences can give us opportunities to acquire skills, understanding, and knowledge that will help us in the future. - Diane Lu
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Whether it's our yoga practice or our meditation practice, sometimes doubts enter. "Is this really doing me any good?" "I don't feel like I'm making much progress." "Why am I even doing this?"
The question of dealing with doubt was present to Thai Buddhist monk Ajahn Chah. His answer is insightful:
"Doubting is natural. Everyone starts out with doubts. You can learn a great deal from them. What is important is that you don’t identify with your doubts: that is, don’t get caught up in them. This will spin your mind in endless circles. Instead, watch the whole process of doubting, of wondering. See who it is that doubts. See how doubts come and go. Then you will no longer be victimized by your doubts. You will step outside of them and your mind will be quiet. You can see how all things come and go. Just let go of what you are attached to. Let go of your doubts and simply watch. This is how to end doubting."
The question of dealing with doubt was present to Thai Buddhist monk Ajahn Chah. His answer is insightful:
"Doubting is natural. Everyone starts out with doubts. You can learn a great deal from them. What is important is that you don’t identify with your doubts: that is, don’t get caught up in them. This will spin your mind in endless circles. Instead, watch the whole process of doubting, of wondering. See who it is that doubts. See how doubts come and go. Then you will no longer be victimized by your doubts. You will step outside of them and your mind will be quiet. You can see how all things come and go. Just let go of what you are attached to. Let go of your doubts and simply watch. This is how to end doubting."
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Know when to move on. Sometimes we find ourselves in circumstances that work against our best interests. When we no longer have the chance to grow or to perform to our capabilities, or when a situation is toxic to our emotions, body, mind or spirit, then we should leave. - Diana Lu
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Don’t make happiness an obsession, like some object you simply must get hold of and keep. If you can relax the obsession about happiness just a bit, then spontaneously you might be happier. - Tulku Thondop
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Obscured by time, very little is known about the early life of the Buddha. Some bits of basic information are available. For example, he was born into an Indian ruling family; he was destined to succeed his father; he was married and had a child. In addition, it is told and re-told that as a young man he managed to leave the walls of his royal compound and venture outside. There, for the first time in his life, he was moved by the appearance of an old man, by a very sick person, and by witnessing a corpse. He also saw holy man walking the streets.
It is this last story which is not historically "true". No one can live such a sheltered life. The only "truth" to the story is that it is symbolical and is an attempt to explain the Buddha's life and search for a solution to the issue of human suffering. His basic message could be condensed this way: Problems are inevitable but people are capable of responding to them and working with them skillfully and in ways which do not need to include the additional layer of suffering. "Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional" is a commonly stated Buddhist principle.
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Pessimism can be so deadly. The habit of worrying about problems or seeing only the negative aspect of a situation hardly leaves any room for healing. When the mind becomes encrusted and rigid with this attitude, then everything that happens appears tainted by pain and negativity. - Tulku Thondop
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Any situation, whether “good” or “bad”, will be made better or worse by the attitude we bring when facing it.Will a negative attitude ever improve a bad situation? Even a positive situation can be spoiled by a poor attitude. In contrast, a negative situation can be made tolerable by a good attitude, and an already positive situation can be vastly improved.
We may not be able to control all aspects of a given situation, but the attitude we bring is always ours to determine. Which will you choose? - Tashi Nyima (Dallas Lama)
We may not be able to control all aspects of a given situation, but the attitude we bring is always ours to determine. Which will you choose? - Tashi Nyima (Dallas Lama)
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Compassion enhances immune response, activates the pleasure centers in the brain, enhances longevity and the sense of moral integrity. When people see others being compassionate, they feel uplifted themselves, so it can be positively contagious. There is no downside. - Roshi Joan Halifax