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Indra Devi, a woman who was one of the first to bring Yoga to the West, tells of a unique custom for ending an argument. Calling it an “extraordinarily sensible” approach she first learned it from a Russian friend who showed her a small brass tray with two candle holders.

It’s purpose was to help a couple make up after a fight when neither wants to be the first to break the silence. All one of them has to do is light a candle and show a desire to end the “cold war”.

After the other partner lights an answering candle, both know the fight is over. “Of course, sometimes a lone candle goes on burning for days before harmony is restored,” she observes. Additionally, it is customary for the couples to sit in meditation or in prayer before this family alter silently expressing gratitude that “their hearts have been cleansed and their minds free of anger and confusion.”

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Victor M. Parachin ... 

a Vedic educator, yoga instructor, Buddhist meditation teacher and author of a dozen books. Buy his books at amazon or your local bookstore. Sadly, Victor passed away in August 2025, but his blog continues. Janet Parachin, his partner of 45 years, shares quotes from his books and articles each week. 

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