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It’s easy, and perhaps natural, to underestimate our acts of kindness and be left wondering whether they actually make any difference. The Buddha recognized we humans think this way, so he cautioned: “Do not overlook tiny good actions, thinking they are of no benefit; even tiny drops of water in the end will fill a huge vessel. Do not overlook negative actions merely because they are small; however small a spark may be, it can burn down a haystack as big as a mountain.”
-Victor M Parachin, "How to Practice Compassion the Buddhist Way," Spirituality & Health
-Victor M Parachin, "How to Practice Compassion the Buddhist Way," Spirituality & Health
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All of us have a deep-seated belief that life should be free of suffering. Think about how often these kinds of thoughts have entered your mind: My marriage should be a happy and fulfilling one. My children should know or be doing better. My supervisor is insensitive. My friend let me down. How could he do that to me? She should have known better. Why is this happening to me? What was he thinking when he said that to me? Life should not be this hard. Life isn't fair.
Psychiatrists and psychologists actually have a name for this condition Those who refuse to let go of resentments and hurts are engaging in "narcissistic entitlement." Left unchallenged, narcissistic entitlement can result in a person becoming bitter, angry, hostile, resentful, unwilling to forgive and unable to move on.
Oddly, the illusion that life should be free of suffering is often heightened in those who pursue spiritual practices, because they erroneously believe that all problems will disappear if one is "spiritual" enough. Thinking the right way, speaking the right way, acting the right way--none of these can provide immunity to problems, although these practices can prevent many issues and minimize the fallout.
What spiritual practices can do is help us deal with those matters in a calmer, more balanced way. The Buddha is right: Because we live in an imperfect, messy world, we will always have "eighty-three" problems. Expecting not to have problems is one of the great illusions about life. If he were here today, the Buddha might very well say: "Get real. Wake up. Abandon the illusion about how life should be and face life as it really is."
-Victor M Parachin, Eastern Wisdom for Western Minds
Psychiatrists and psychologists actually have a name for this condition Those who refuse to let go of resentments and hurts are engaging in "narcissistic entitlement." Left unchallenged, narcissistic entitlement can result in a person becoming bitter, angry, hostile, resentful, unwilling to forgive and unable to move on.
Oddly, the illusion that life should be free of suffering is often heightened in those who pursue spiritual practices, because they erroneously believe that all problems will disappear if one is "spiritual" enough. Thinking the right way, speaking the right way, acting the right way--none of these can provide immunity to problems, although these practices can prevent many issues and minimize the fallout.
What spiritual practices can do is help us deal with those matters in a calmer, more balanced way. The Buddha is right: Because we live in an imperfect, messy world, we will always have "eighty-three" problems. Expecting not to have problems is one of the great illusions about life. If he were here today, the Buddha might very well say: "Get real. Wake up. Abandon the illusion about how life should be and face life as it really is."
-Victor M Parachin, Eastern Wisdom for Western Minds
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It's easy to say "yes" to life when everything is easy, comfortable, good. However, the challenge emerges the moment life becomes rough. When things go wrong, don't go wrong with them: maintain the right mind, the right thoughts, the right words and the right actions. For example:
- If a relationship ends, watch the tendency to wallow in anger. . . .
- If you are betrayed by a good friend, resist the resentment that can rule your life. . . .
Whenever things go wrong, pause, take a deep breath, consider all possibilities and begin to move forward.
-Victor M Parachin, Think Like the Buddha
- If a relationship ends, watch the tendency to wallow in anger. . . .
- If you are betrayed by a good friend, resist the resentment that can rule your life. . . .
Whenever things go wrong, pause, take a deep breath, consider all possibilities and begin to move forward.
-Victor M Parachin, Think Like the Buddha
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Buddhism teaches that we humans have Buddha nature and all we need to do is recognize, respond and realize our true nature. The Buddha's perspective is more people friendly, reminding us that we are in charge of our lives and the direction we wish to move. In fact, the Buddha taught that the way to tap into our Buddha nature and end suffering is to engage in these three actions:
First, to cease from negative actions. . . .
Secondly, to do what is good. . . .
Thirdly, to purify and strengthen the mind. This means developing and deepening meditation because that is where we learn to use the mind skillfully.
-Victor M Parachin, Think Like the Buddha
First, to cease from negative actions. . . .
Secondly, to do what is good. . . .
Thirdly, to purify and strengthen the mind. This means developing and deepening meditation because that is where we learn to use the mind skillfully.
-Victor M Parachin, Think Like the Buddha
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Far too often we encounter difficult people, those who are inconsiderate, rude, arrogant, ignorant and even unkind. . . . The Buddha taught that we should be grateful for difficult people because they helped us refine and develop good character. . . . The Buddha instructed his followers to practice discipline and patience in four unpleasant situations.
First, when others become angry with you, do not react with anger but with discipline and patience. Secondly, if another person strikes you, do not retaliate or return blows. Thirdly, when others criticize you, do not criticize them in retaliation. Fourthly, when others insult you, do not respond by insulting or embarrassing them. . . .
The Buddha explained that there are four corresponding advantages--followers will improve their patience and discipline, bring harmony to their relationships, create more social goodwill and move more rapidly to awakening.
-Victor M Parachin, Buddhist Wisdom for Beginners
First, when others become angry with you, do not react with anger but with discipline and patience. Secondly, if another person strikes you, do not retaliate or return blows. Thirdly, when others criticize you, do not criticize them in retaliation. Fourthly, when others insult you, do not respond by insulting or embarrassing them. . . .
The Buddha explained that there are four corresponding advantages--followers will improve their patience and discipline, bring harmony to their relationships, create more social goodwill and move more rapidly to awakening.
-Victor M Parachin, Buddhist Wisdom for Beginners
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The remarkable man known as Buddha (his original name was Siddhartha Gautama) was an immensely likeable and attractive individual. Unlike other spiritual leaders who claim to receive their wisdom as direct revelations from God, Buddha was rather ordinary. Basically, he said, "I'm a regular person who through considerable struggle, managed to become enlightened." By "enlightened" he simply meant he understood suffering and how it could be ended. In various ways, he also told those around him, "If I can do this, anyone can." . . .
The message he taught is condensed in the Four Noble Truths:
1. Life is suffering. To be human is to experience pain.
2. Suffering has a cause. All suffering is rooted in craving and attachment.
3. Craving and attachment can be overcome. When that is done, suffering ceases.
4. The way to overcome craving and attachment is the Eightfold Path: right understanding, right purpose, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, right concentration. . . .
One truly inspiring aspect of all Buddhist paths is the Buddha's immense confidence in us all. He emphasized over and over that like himself, each one of us can experience enlightenment, which is boundless wisdom and infinite compassion. Every time you look into a mirror, let your reflection remind you of the powerful truth: There's a Buddha in my mirror!
-Victor M Parachin, Eastern Wisdom for Western Minds
The message he taught is condensed in the Four Noble Truths:
1. Life is suffering. To be human is to experience pain.
2. Suffering has a cause. All suffering is rooted in craving and attachment.
3. Craving and attachment can be overcome. When that is done, suffering ceases.
4. The way to overcome craving and attachment is the Eightfold Path: right understanding, right purpose, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, right concentration. . . .
One truly inspiring aspect of all Buddhist paths is the Buddha's immense confidence in us all. He emphasized over and over that like himself, each one of us can experience enlightenment, which is boundless wisdom and infinite compassion. Every time you look into a mirror, let your reflection remind you of the powerful truth: There's a Buddha in my mirror!
-Victor M Parachin, Eastern Wisdom for Western Minds
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"If you place your mind on thoughts that are based upon compassion and wisdom, that's what the mind will become familiar with." -Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche
The above quote is provocative because it raises this vital question: "What's my mind 'familiar' with?" If you'd like to begin with our culture, ask the question differently: "What's familiar to the mind of people in our society?"
The answer is as quick as it is obvious: violence, anger, greed, frustration, even rage. These are so "familiar" to the mind that they are easily, quickly, and readily triggered by the smallest of issues. The concepts that are not familiar to the minds of many people in our culture are wisdom, compassion, kindness, civility, etc.
The concept that we become what we think was first taught by the Buddha, who succintly said, "All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become." . . .
Here is a meditation to explore mind familiarity.
- Sit comfortably and quietly.
- Focus on your breathing for a few moments by saying "In" on the inhalation and "Out" on the exhalation.
- Ask yourself, "What is my mind 'familiar' with?"
- Pause to see what comes up: anger or acceptance, greed or geerosity, cruelty or kindness.
- Conclude with the resolve to make your mind more "familiar" with virtues associated with compassion and wisdom. Do this by repeating affirmations like these:
--- I act compassionately to all.
--- I respond with kindness to all.
--- I see the best in each person.
-Victor M Parachin, Sit a Bit
The above quote is provocative because it raises this vital question: "What's my mind 'familiar' with?" If you'd like to begin with our culture, ask the question differently: "What's familiar to the mind of people in our society?"
The answer is as quick as it is obvious: violence, anger, greed, frustration, even rage. These are so "familiar" to the mind that they are easily, quickly, and readily triggered by the smallest of issues. The concepts that are not familiar to the minds of many people in our culture are wisdom, compassion, kindness, civility, etc.
The concept that we become what we think was first taught by the Buddha, who succintly said, "All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become." . . .
Here is a meditation to explore mind familiarity.
- Sit comfortably and quietly.
- Focus on your breathing for a few moments by saying "In" on the inhalation and "Out" on the exhalation.
- Ask yourself, "What is my mind 'familiar' with?"
- Pause to see what comes up: anger or acceptance, greed or geerosity, cruelty or kindness.
- Conclude with the resolve to make your mind more "familiar" with virtues associated with compassion and wisdom. Do this by repeating affirmations like these:
--- I act compassionately to all.
--- I respond with kindness to all.
--- I see the best in each person.
-Victor M Parachin, Sit a Bit
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For those of us who live in the West and who have been shaped largely by European intellectual tradition, a good way to understand Buddha is through a comparison between Martin Luther and the Buddha. European history and Christianity itself were completely transformed when a monk named Martin Luther proposed alternatives to the Catholicism of his day. At the time, Catholic Christianity was largely a religion of rituals with an elite priesthood ruling over a complex theology. Luther was regarded as radical because he advocated individual effort, plain language, and a simple approach to life and faith.
Buddha acted in much the same way. Buddhism arose in northern India around 500 BCE in response to complex Hinduism. Like the Catholicism of Luther's day, Hinduism was a religion of rituals, an elite priesthood, a complex theology, many gods, and a caste system whereby people were rigidly divided and severely restricted to predetermined roles. Like Luther, Buddha stressed the importance of individual effort and direct personal experience, rather than relying on a priest to be an intermediary.
-Victor M Parachin, Eastern Wisdom for Western Minds
Buddha acted in much the same way. Buddhism arose in northern India around 500 BCE in response to complex Hinduism. Like the Catholicism of Luther's day, Hinduism was a religion of rituals, an elite priesthood, a complex theology, many gods, and a caste system whereby people were rigidly divided and severely restricted to predetermined roles. Like Luther, Buddha stressed the importance of individual effort and direct personal experience, rather than relying on a priest to be an intermediary.
-Victor M Parachin, Eastern Wisdom for Western Minds