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There are many voices inside our minds, all of them crying out for attention. Get to know your unique inner talk so that you can effectively control it, much like the way a choir director leads a group of singers. What kind of voices are in your head? Are they sad, negative, joyless, frustrated, dispirited ones? Are they happy, positive, joyful, peaceful, passionate ones? Most of us have a blend of those two extremes. . . .

Take charge of your inner dialogue. When disturbing and negative voices emerge, notice them without judging them harshly, and direct them gently to soften and ease up. Simultaneously, pay attention to the voices that express gratitude, joy, compassion, kindness, love, peace, strength, humor. Direct your voices toward hope, happiness, harmony and your life with reflect those very qualities.
-Victor M Parachin, Think Like the Buddha
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At the end of your day or even at the beginning of a new day, go back and review the previous 24 hours asking yourself:
- What was I thinking? (then pause to review)
- Why was I thinking that? (again, pause to review)
- What was the result of those thoughts? (pause again to review)
Conclude by reminding yourself, "I am not my thoughts and I have the power to choose and change my thoughts."
-Victor M Parachin, Sit a Bit

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The simple act of writing a gratitude letter to someone can boost your level of happiness and place your focus toward the positives about your life. In a recent experiment done by Steve Toepfer, assistant professor in Human Development and Family Studies at Kent State University, he asked subjects to write a meaningful letter of gratitude to anyone they wanted. The more letters people wrote the less they reported feeling symptoms of depression, and they noted feeling happier and more satisfied with life overall. "If you are looking to increase your wellbeing through intentional activities, . . . write letters of gratitude to someone," Toepfer says. "There is a cumulative effect, too. If you write over time, you'll feel happier, you'll feel more satisfied, and if you're suffering from depressive symptoms, your symptoms will decrease."
-Victor M Parachin, "Five Steps to a More Positive Attitude"
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Only you can exercise control of your thoughts. The ancient Indian sage Patanjali had this advice: "When presented with disquieting thoughts or feelings, cultivate an opposite elevated attitude." His wisdom is a reminder that we have the power to manage our own minds, that we can abruptly change what we imagine, feel and think. But there are times our mind seems to be engaged in a struggle for territory--a fight between positive thoughts vs. negative thoughts. Become a mental warrior and rally yourself to win that battle by taking control of your thoughts.

Here are some examples of switching perceptions from the negative to the positive:
- For "I'll never get that job," switch to "I've got a strong resume, better than most."
- For "I'm too old to return to college," switch over to "Many second career people return to school, and I can be one of them."
- And for "I never get what I want," switch over to "I deserve the best life has to offer."
-Victor M Parachin, "Five Steps to a More Positive Attitude"

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"You'll find that life is still worthwhile if you just smile," said silent screen star Charlie Chaplin. A study recently published in Psychological Science revealed that breaking into a genuine smile--one that engages the muscles around the mouth as well as those around the eyes--reduces your heart rate after a stressful event. "Whether you feel happy while smiling doesn't matter," said lead author of that study Tara Kraft. "Muscle activation alone does the trick."

As you go through the day, try smiling at everyone you encounter--be it family, friends, colleagues, or even strangers. And, when you smile, it is highly likely they will smile back, making the brief encounter friendlier and warmer. You'll see that your spirits will rise and you'll experience a positive feeling. "A warm smile is the universal language of kindness," said American motivational author William Arther Ward.
-Victor M Parachin, "Five Steps to a More Positive Attitude"
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Death raises profound spiritual questions. Tap into your faith, and you will gain comfort, support, strength, insight, wisdom, and a sense of direction. If you have not been in the habit of actively participating in a faith community, bereavement is a very good time to seek one out. One of the impacts of losing a loved one to death is fear--fear of the future and fear in the present. The greatest antidote to fear is faith. 

- Where fear imprisons, faith liberates.
- Where fear paralyzes, faith motivates.
- Where fear disheartens, faith encourages.
- Where fear sickens, faith heals.
- Where fear leaves us hopeless, faith generates hope.

This contemporary saying has much wisdom and truth in it: "Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. No one was there!"
-Victor M Parachin, Healing Grief 

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Those who seek to practice meditation are always instructed to begin by focusing on their breathing. In meditation, the breath is the vehicle of release: the releasing of distracting thoughts, disturbing images, feelings of limitation, and feelings of resistance. Those skilled in meditation know that the breath can calm, reassure, and stabilize both mind and body. . . .

So the next time you're upset about something, don't just stand there, breathe! Here's an effective way of using the breath to calm and center yourself: While inhaling and exhaling, say to yourself: "Peace in, anxiety out." Repeat this as many times as necessary until calm and relaxation emerge.
-Victor M Parachin, Eastern Wisdom for Western Minds

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Too often we have "monkey minds" which do not consider carefully enough the consequences of an action before it is taken. While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of those actions. That is the law of Karma which operates through the universe. People have experienced tremendous sadness because of careless thinking and acting saying "I didn't mean for it to turn out like this." The way to avoid such troubles and tragedies lies in mind management. It is important to think things through, consider all options and take the most skillful action. Only then are the odds in our favor that the consequences will be positive rather than negative and disappointing.
-Victor M Parachin, Buddhist Wisdom for Beginners
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Buddhist tradition notes that the Buddha himself taught three fundamental types of generosity. First, material generosity, which involves sharing money and other material things with others. Secondly, emotional generosity, which the Buddha described as "making others feel unafraid." We do this when we spend time with a person who has just experienced a traumatic event such as the diagnosis of a life-threatening illness, or with someone who has had a loss to death, or with someone who has been "downsized." Thirdly, there is the generosity of sharing wisdom with others such as leading a meditation group, offering a spiritual workshop, making a presentation about higher values and ethics.

The Buddha often taught about the importance of generosity because it is not only helpful to the recipient of our generosity. We ourselves are greatly helped when we act generously.
-Victor M Parachin, Think Like the Buddha

Victor M. Parachin ... 

a Vedic educator, yoga instructor, Buddhist meditation teacher and author of a dozen books. Buy his books at amazon or your local bookstore. Sadly, Victor passed away in August 2025, but his blog continues. Janet Parachin, his partner of 45 years, shares quotes from his books and articles each week. 

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