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According to sociologists there is a loneliness "epidemic" in this country. While people do have connections with others via family, work, and social media, many, perhaps a majority, still feel lonely. A key reason for this may be the reality that developing a friendship takes time, considerably more time than may be expected. In fact, it can take 200 or more hours of time together to establish a "best" friend according to researcher Jeffrey Hall, professor of communications studies at the University of Kansas.
Building on earlier studies which indicate we have four levels of relationships: acquaintances, casual friends, friends and good/best friends, Hall conducted several studies arriving at these conclusions - it took about 50 hours of interaction to move from acquaintance to casual friend, about 90 hours to move from casual friend to friend, and more than 200 hours to qualify as a best friend. Those who never got beyond being acquaintances usually had spent no more than 30 hours together—the equivalent perhaps of being in the same class a few hours a week, but not seeing each other outside of the classroom.
The conclusions Hall draws from this work are straightforward, but important. “You have to invest," time and energy in order to have a deeper and authentic friendship.
Building on earlier studies which indicate we have four levels of relationships: acquaintances, casual friends, friends and good/best friends, Hall conducted several studies arriving at these conclusions - it took about 50 hours of interaction to move from acquaintance to casual friend, about 90 hours to move from casual friend to friend, and more than 200 hours to qualify as a best friend. Those who never got beyond being acquaintances usually had spent no more than 30 hours together—the equivalent perhaps of being in the same class a few hours a week, but not seeing each other outside of the classroom.
The conclusions Hall draws from this work are straightforward, but important. “You have to invest," time and energy in order to have a deeper and authentic friendship.
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Do not compare yourself to others. Be true to who you are and continue to learn with all your might. Even if you are ridiculed, even if you suffer, continue to advance and do not be defeated. - Daisaku Ikeda
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Highly charged emotion colors thinking. If you are angry or anxious, take a moment to identify what you’re feeling and say it aloud. Take a few moments to release your hold on the emotion. You can also say, ‘I look forward to being free from this feeling.’ Refrain from action. - Swami Dyananda
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The tendency of human beings is to try and escape challenges and seek an easy and peaceful environment. A genuine way of life consists of transforming where we are right now into a supreme paradise. - Daisaku Ikeda
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Two frogs were living in a pond near a farm. One bright, warm sunny day they decided to explore the broader area making their way into a barn. There, they accidentally hopped into a large bucket, half filled with milk. Inside, they found the pail was shiny and slick making it impossible to climb out so they tried to leap up and out.
Unable to hop out of the bucket they continued to swim in the milk becoming exhausted. The larger frog said to the other: “It's impossible! We'll never get out of here. There's no point.” The smaller frog tried to encourage his companion but after a few more minutes, he gave up and gradually sank to the bottom of the bucket.
Tapping into his determination and persistence, the smaller frog told himself “I'm not giving up” and continued to swim, paddle, and glide in the milk. He did this for some time discovering that the milk was becoming thicker and thicker making it harder and harder to swim. Little by little, the milk was turning to cream and the cream was turning to butter until it was solid enough for the frog to stand and jump out of the bucket. His relief was immense, his joy overwhelming and his confidence colossal.
That story is universal, making it's way around the world and across the ages. It is timeless in it's appeal to the children and adults, women and men due to the simple principle it teaches - never give up - because, like the persistent, persevering frog, one never knows the moment when everything changes for the better.
Unable to hop out of the bucket they continued to swim in the milk becoming exhausted. The larger frog said to the other: “It's impossible! We'll never get out of here. There's no point.” The smaller frog tried to encourage his companion but after a few more minutes, he gave up and gradually sank to the bottom of the bucket.
Tapping into his determination and persistence, the smaller frog told himself “I'm not giving up” and continued to swim, paddle, and glide in the milk. He did this for some time discovering that the milk was becoming thicker and thicker making it harder and harder to swim. Little by little, the milk was turning to cream and the cream was turning to butter until it was solid enough for the frog to stand and jump out of the bucket. His relief was immense, his joy overwhelming and his confidence colossal.
That story is universal, making it's way around the world and across the ages. It is timeless in it's appeal to the children and adults, women and men due to the simple principle it teaches - never give up - because, like the persistent, persevering frog, one never knows the moment when everything changes for the better.
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Those who are in a hurry to become enlightened are like caterpillars, rushing out of their cocoons to become butterflies. Their haste ensures that they will either die in the process or be killed by predators. - Sheng Yen
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Buddhism doesn’t like the concept of God for a variety of reasons. One of the major ones is that God worship is almost always fear based, something noted by Buddhist scholar P. A. Payutto: “If they aren't bowing to a human power figure, societies often submit to a supernatural one, what they call ‘God.’ With God as the ultimate authority, there is a common ground to which all the members of that society can submit. However, this is still not a satisfactory method for people who desire democracy because it is another form of autocracy- it is tainted with fear, and thus does not allow for full development of personal potential.”
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We all have an expiration date. The moment we took our first breath, we simultaneously inched closer to our last. When we’re mindful of this fact, we’re more likely to make the most of the time we have. Our experiences deepen. - Chris Pacheco
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If I were to develop feelings of vindictiveness, anger, or hatred towards the Chines, who would be the loser? I would, because I would thereby lose my peace of mind, my sleep, and my appetite. At the same time, my bitterness would not affect the Chinese in the least. If I became extremely upset, that would also prevent me from making those around me happy. - Dalai Lama 14th
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Try to help others. If you are not able to be of help, then at least do them no harm. - Dalai Lama 14tha