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Keep in mind that suicide grievers are struggling with a wide variety of confusion and conflicting emotions such as anger, guilt, regret, shock, denial, emptiness. Avoid adding to their pain by making trite cliches and meaningless platitudes no matter how well intentioned they may be. Here are some things not to say:
Consider also this insight from Gayle Brandeis, The Art of Misdiagnosis: Surviving My Mother’s Suicide: "While it can be tricky to know what to say to a suicide loss survivor, it is much better to reach out than to hold back out of fear of saying the wrong thing. A simple note, a simple gesture, can make a huge difference. “It was not your fault” is something many suicide loss survivors need to hear over and over and over again, as is “You are not alone.”
- I know how your feel.
- This too shall pass.
- You will find a way to cope.
- It's time to move on.
- At least he/she is no longer in pain.
- Don't cry. He/she wouldn't want that.
- I am sorry.
- Just know that I care.
- We all need help at times like this; I'm here for you.
- I don't know how your feel but I want to help in any way I can.
- I am here for you; have an open heart and time to listen.
- I will stand with you through this time.
Consider also this insight from Gayle Brandeis, The Art of Misdiagnosis: Surviving My Mother’s Suicide: "While it can be tricky to know what to say to a suicide loss survivor, it is much better to reach out than to hold back out of fear of saying the wrong thing. A simple note, a simple gesture, can make a huge difference. “It was not your fault” is something many suicide loss survivors need to hear over and over and over again, as is “You are not alone.”
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