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For most of us, saying no is very difficult. We don’t want to offend or disappoint people. With great frequency, family, friends, bosses, colleagues, civic and religious groups, call on us for our time or money or both. While most of those requests are legitimate and important, agreeing to them when we are not ready or ambivalent can result in considerable emotional hardship. “Half of the troubles in this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and no not soon enough,” noted the nineteenth century writer Josh Billings.
Furthermore, “saying yes becomes wrong when you want to say no and it is in your best interest to say no,” says therapist Herbert Fensterheim, PhD., author of Don’t Say Yes When You Want To Say No. Dr. Fensterheim says the inability to say no produces these harsh, negative consequences:
* It leads you into activities you don’t respect yourself for doing.
* It distracts you from what you really want to accomplish.
* Because you allow other people to exploit you continually, the resentment builds up.
* It produces a lack of communication between you and others.
The truth is that sometimes we just have to say no in order to prevent too great a toll on our own time and tranquility.
Furthermore, “saying yes becomes wrong when you want to say no and it is in your best interest to say no,” says therapist Herbert Fensterheim, PhD., author of Don’t Say Yes When You Want To Say No. Dr. Fensterheim says the inability to say no produces these harsh, negative consequences:
* It leads you into activities you don’t respect yourself for doing.
* It distracts you from what you really want to accomplish.
* Because you allow other people to exploit you continually, the resentment builds up.
* It produces a lack of communication between you and others.
The truth is that sometimes we just have to say no in order to prevent too great a toll on our own time and tranquility.
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