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Rev. Kris Ladusau is director of the Oklahoma Dharma Center. She recently wrote about spending time with a college friend who was at the end of her life. Here's how she described her final visit:
"My friend never regained consciousness while she was in the hospital. I was taking shifts with her sister and brother so that someone was always there with her. The doctors had told us it would only be a day or two before she passed away. I had arrived at the hospital and was talking with the sister when she told me their cousin was hosting a family gathering for the holiday season. She really wanted to go but felt bad knowing it would mean that I stayed at the hospital a longer shift than usual. I told her that time with family would be a great idea and she thanked me for the opportunity to go.
Several hours went by and the nurse came in to check on things. The monitors were showing a rapid decline - the time of passing was soon. I thought about contacting the sister and brother to let them know but I realized they may not be able to make it to the hospital in time. It was then I realized that death is not an emergency. The siblings had already said their goodbyes and shared private time with their sister. As I reflected, I was once again reminded that death is a natural process and recognized there was no need to take the brother and sister away from much needed rest and rejuvenation.
I stood at the bedside and chanted the Dharanis for my friend. The machines stopped. Everything was silent. I said a final prayer and went to find the nurse. She respectfully took care of what was needed. Thirty minutes later, the sister came back to the hospital. I met her at the door and simply said, “No more suffering…” We hugged each other as she cried. We walked over to the bedside and she asked me a few questions. Then she thanked me for being there. I told her I was honored to do so. Phone calls were made to relatives and friends. Everything was calm and peaceful. I will miss my friend, but I smile in my heart for having known her.”
"My friend never regained consciousness while she was in the hospital. I was taking shifts with her sister and brother so that someone was always there with her. The doctors had told us it would only be a day or two before she passed away. I had arrived at the hospital and was talking with the sister when she told me their cousin was hosting a family gathering for the holiday season. She really wanted to go but felt bad knowing it would mean that I stayed at the hospital a longer shift than usual. I told her that time with family would be a great idea and she thanked me for the opportunity to go.
Several hours went by and the nurse came in to check on things. The monitors were showing a rapid decline - the time of passing was soon. I thought about contacting the sister and brother to let them know but I realized they may not be able to make it to the hospital in time. It was then I realized that death is not an emergency. The siblings had already said their goodbyes and shared private time with their sister. As I reflected, I was once again reminded that death is a natural process and recognized there was no need to take the brother and sister away from much needed rest and rejuvenation.
I stood at the bedside and chanted the Dharanis for my friend. The machines stopped. Everything was silent. I said a final prayer and went to find the nurse. She respectfully took care of what was needed. Thirty minutes later, the sister came back to the hospital. I met her at the door and simply said, “No more suffering…” We hugged each other as she cried. We walked over to the bedside and she asked me a few questions. Then she thanked me for being there. I told her I was honored to do so. Phone calls were made to relatives and friends. Everything was calm and peaceful. I will miss my friend, but I smile in my heart for having known her.”
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