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Minister and psychologist Ann Kaiser Stearns has interviewed and studied survivors from all sorts of tragedies--people whose lives were shattered by disease, death, chronic pain, and being prisoners of war. In her book Coming Back: Rebuilding Lives after Crisis and Loss, she cites the following as attitudes crucial for overcoming adversity:

- I will not be defeated
- I will vividly examine the future
- I will take advantage of available opportunities
- I will not assume the victim posture
- I will accept life's challenges
- I can do it if I set my mind to it
- I have to be willing to expand
- I will find a way to get what I want
- I am consciously deciding to be in the company of good people

Study this list carefully. Make these your attitudes as you manage mourning. And when facing discouragement or even despair over your circumstances, keep in mind the truth that attitudes are more important than facts.
-Victor M Parachin, Healing Grief

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Victor M. Parachin ... 

a Vedic educator, yoga instructor, Buddhist meditation teacher and author of a dozen books. Buy his books at amazon or your local bookstore. Sadly, Victor passed away in August 2025, but his blog continues. Janet Parachin, his partner of 45 years, shares quotes from his books and articles each week. 

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