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- "I don't have the time!"
- Too hard to get out of the “doing” mindset—there is so much else that needs doing.
- Cultural conditioning: don’t be so selfish.
- Laziness or sloth (which is the 4th "deadly sin")
- Life patterns - it's hard to make adjustments to include meditation.
- Too many distractions.
- I can't get rid of the thoughts.
- It's hard to be still, quiet.
- Nothing is happening.
- "I don't feel like it!"
(feel free to re-post and/or link to your social media)
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Rev. Norman Vincent Peale, author The Power Of Positive Thinking – twentieth century: “ Whenever a negative thought concerning your personal powers comes to mind, deliberately voice a positive thought to cancel it out.”
Patanjali, author the Yoga Sutra, - 2nd century BCE: “When presented with negative,disquieting thoughts or feelings, cultivate an opposite, elevated attitude.”
Patanjali, author the Yoga Sutra, - 2nd century BCE: “When presented with negative,disquieting thoughts or feelings, cultivate an opposite, elevated attitude.”
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Do to others what you would have done to yourself. Put yourself in the shoes of your grieving friend - anyone who has recently experienced a loss to death, separation, divorce, etc. Ask yourself: How would I like to be treated just now? What would I like to hear? Who would I want to hear from? What kind of condolence letter would bring me the most comfort?
By applying the golden rule of comforting you will avoid saying things which minimize the loss and are offensive to grievers. Such comments include:
Rather than make statements which frustrate and anger grievers, those who apply the golden rule of comforting are more likely to respond with words which acknowledge the loss and the pain. Some examples of helpful, encouraging words include:
People do make the journey through grief but often it's made "easier" with the help of a few friends. Reach out and do your part.
By applying the golden rule of comforting you will avoid saying things which minimize the loss and are offensive to grievers. Such comments include:
- He’s in a better place now.
- She lived a good life.
- I know what you’re going through.
- You need to snap out of this.
- Now, now - no tears!
- You must be strong.
- It’s a blessing in disguise.
Rather than make statements which frustrate and anger grievers, those who apply the golden rule of comforting are more likely to respond with words which acknowledge the loss and the pain. Some examples of helpful, encouraging words include:
- I am so sorry.
- What can I do for you.
- How can I help.
- This must be very hard.
People do make the journey through grief but often it's made "easier" with the help of a few friends. Reach out and do your part.
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Humility means that one should not be anxious to have the satisfaction of being honored by others. - A. C.Bhaktivedanta
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"Exacerbated by the deluge of social media updates shared by most of us these days—unlike any other time in recorded history—the pressure to lead an engaging and stimulating life is well and truly on" writes Tilly Campbell-Allen in an essay titled "Dare To Be Boring: Advice For A Life Well Lived."
Here are some of her insights followed by my brief lesson application:
Here are some of her insights followed by my brief lesson application:
- Social media clearly makes us feel uninteresting compared to others. "From a night out on the town with your best friends to a solitary asana on a mountain top overlooking an idyllic valley; from swimming with wild turtles in the limpid coves of Maui to riding white water rapids in Norway; from volunteering with big cats in a South African sanctuary to champagne dining at Le Jules Verne in Paris. And the catalogue of bucket list images grows exponentially on a daily basis as travelers Instagram their latest adventures." The lesson: don't compare what's someone posts about their exterior lives to your interior life
- We are never enough. "Are you spiritual enough? Are you practiced enough? Are you vegan enough? Are you retreated enough? Are you guru-connected enough? Are you enlightened enough?! " The lesson: don't succumb to the temptation of spiritual materialism, buying and chasing experiences.
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We do not practice meditation to gain admiration from anyone. Rather, we practice to contribute to peace in the world. - Sayadaw U Pandita
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The very nature of Buddhist practice is learning to accept the role of a Bodhisattva. 'Bodhisattva' is a Sanskrit word which means 'one who seeks awakening'. The term is used interchangeably in three different ways: 1) a being who is enlightened; 2) a being who is on the path of enlightenment; 3) a being who enlightens others. Tibetan Buddhism uses the term 'bodhisattva' in a combination of the three understandings and refers to a bodhisattva as a person intent on attaining enlightenment for the sake of others. In order to reinforce this understanding, some Buddhist teachers would often begin public talks by saying 'Bodhisattvas' rather than 'Ladies and Gentlemen'.
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Moral courage is rare and moral greatness even rarer. It requires a mysterious and potent combination of empathy, will and deep conviction that social norms cannot shake. - David Wolpe
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There's a Buddhist issue with activists - usually those in the West who live in democratic counties - and it's this: their activisim is generated by anger and hostility. These negative emotions are considered poisons in Buddhist teachings.
For that reason, the Dalai Lama, who was hosting a gathering of 28 youth leaders from 14 countries plagued with conflict and war, counseled the young visitors with one of the fundamental understandings of the Buddhist teachings—that even when based on justified reasons or with sincere motivations, actions founded in or motivated by anger only exacerbate and continue the cycle of violence and conflict.
The assembly of youth leaders came from Afghanistan, the Central African Republic, Columbia, India, Iraq, Libya, Myanmar, Nigeria, Somalia, South Sudan, Syria, Tunisia, the United States, and Venezuela were present as part of an exchange initiative organized by the United States Institute of Peace.
The Nobel Peace Prize laureate observed that he was able to relate to their experiences as he had lost his own freedom and country at a young age and had spent the majority of his life as a refugee living in exile in India.
“Your tragedies should not let you turn pessimistic, but rather it should translate into more determination and enthusiasm to work for peace,” His Holiness explained in his response to the tragic stories, adding that the only hope for erasing hatred and building more peaceful societies lay in propagating a holistic model of education that teaches modern science-based learning in combination with the knowledge, wisdom, and practices of Buddhism and other ancient spiritual traditions that can effectively address and nurture emotional and spiritual well-being.
For that reason, the Dalai Lama, who was hosting a gathering of 28 youth leaders from 14 countries plagued with conflict and war, counseled the young visitors with one of the fundamental understandings of the Buddhist teachings—that even when based on justified reasons or with sincere motivations, actions founded in or motivated by anger only exacerbate and continue the cycle of violence and conflict.
The assembly of youth leaders came from Afghanistan, the Central African Republic, Columbia, India, Iraq, Libya, Myanmar, Nigeria, Somalia, South Sudan, Syria, Tunisia, the United States, and Venezuela were present as part of an exchange initiative organized by the United States Institute of Peace.
The Nobel Peace Prize laureate observed that he was able to relate to their experiences as he had lost his own freedom and country at a young age and had spent the majority of his life as a refugee living in exile in India.
“Your tragedies should not let you turn pessimistic, but rather it should translate into more determination and enthusiasm to work for peace,” His Holiness explained in his response to the tragic stories, adding that the only hope for erasing hatred and building more peaceful societies lay in propagating a holistic model of education that teaches modern science-based learning in combination with the knowledge, wisdom, and practices of Buddhism and other ancient spiritual traditions that can effectively address and nurture emotional and spiritual well-being.
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It takes courage to make fool of yourself. - Charlie Chaplin