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Life might give you a hard time, but you can always love life. We need to open the door of our hearts to life. When things get difficult we do not think, “This should have never happened.” Instead, we accept it as part of life; it is where we learn and grow. I do not call it suffering, I call it ‘growing pains.’ - Ajahn Brahm
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Hannah Emerson is a Webster University student. The St. Louis University has a campus in Thailand where Ms. Emerson has been studying for the past year. She recently penned an article for the university paper - The Journal - titled "Letters From Thailand: I Am Now A Buddhist." She's been impressed with the Buddhism she experienced in Thailand noting that 94% of the country is Buddhist. "I myself have now joined the ranks." Growing up nominally Catholic, Ms. Emerson abandoned that approach preferring to be one of the "spiritual but not religious" persons in American culture. Yet, Buddhism drew her in ways that other religious approaches did not. Here are some of her observations and reasons:
#1. She made it public and official at a Buddhist temple with others present. "I vow to take refuge in the Buddha, the Dhamma (Buddha’s teachings) and the Sangha (monks) three times. With this, I have begun my transition to Buddhism. These three things are at the core of Buddhist tradition.I vow to not harm other living creatures, to not take what is not given, to not commit adultery, to not lie and to refrain from consuming intoxicants. These five precepts are the 'rules' of Buddhism. With these vows and the blessing of the monks before me, I have now become a Buddhist."
#2. The decision to formally become a Buddhist surprised her friends. "Those close to me were a bit surprised when I told them I became Buddhist. They weren’t surprised I had chosen Buddhism, but rather were surprised I chose to follow any religion at all. I had been born a Catholic and then decided to follow no religion, only my spirituality."
#3. Her decision was a thoughtful one considered over many months. "The decision to join a religion was not a hasty one for me. I have disliked how many people use the institution of religion for their own personal gain rather than following the concepts of being kind and helping others that the majority of religions hold."
#4. She was drawn to Buddhism because of the "user friendly" concepts such as:
#1. She made it public and official at a Buddhist temple with others present. "I vow to take refuge in the Buddha, the Dhamma (Buddha’s teachings) and the Sangha (monks) three times. With this, I have begun my transition to Buddhism. These three things are at the core of Buddhist tradition.I vow to not harm other living creatures, to not take what is not given, to not commit adultery, to not lie and to refrain from consuming intoxicants. These five precepts are the 'rules' of Buddhism. With these vows and the blessing of the monks before me, I have now become a Buddhist."
#2. The decision to formally become a Buddhist surprised her friends. "Those close to me were a bit surprised when I told them I became Buddhist. They weren’t surprised I had chosen Buddhism, but rather were surprised I chose to follow any religion at all. I had been born a Catholic and then decided to follow no religion, only my spirituality."
#3. Her decision was a thoughtful one considered over many months. "The decision to join a religion was not a hasty one for me. I have disliked how many people use the institution of religion for their own personal gain rather than following the concepts of being kind and helping others that the majority of religions hold."
#4. She was drawn to Buddhism because of the "user friendly" concepts such as:
- loving kindness & compassion - "In the end, the reason I chose to join the religion of Buddhism, was not necessarily to practice its traditions, though I’m eager to learn them and participate. It was to practice the core of Buddhist belief in loving kindness and compassion, awareness and consciousness, and constantly working to improve oneself and bring oneself to further enlightenment in a more intentional fashion, as more of a lifestyle than a religious practice."
- impermanence - "As I went deeper into my study of Buddhism, I found many of the spiritual values fit to mine. I identified with its focus on loving kindness, compassion, and toleranceI also found its concept of the impermanence of things and how this can help the habit of letting go rather than allowing things to fester fascinating and to be a valuable perspective and practice. For me, who has been faced (as many others have) with many stressors from school, work and disturbances in everyday life, this concept of letting go helps me remember to not take things too seriously and to reach a state of peace and acceptance. This has also helped me to remain positive even in tricky situations."
- meditation - "Further attractive elements of Buddhism were the focus on consciousness and awareness of yourself, others and the world around you. This also helps to keep the strong feeling of peace and calm in a storm of emotions. This consciousness and awareness relates to the Buddhist concepts of releasing oneself from desires and worldly attachments. I have taken this on as a mechanism for self-improvement to keep on my path to feeling greater self-acceptance and letting go of my insecurities."
- karma - "The concept of karma attracts me to the religion as well with its mindfulness of what you put out in the universe is what you get back. So, if you intentionally do good things rather than bad things, good things will come back to you, and if you choose to take the other path, you will face the consequences. This reinforces my aim to be mindful of others’ feelings and to act in such a way that benefits others and not just myself."
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Compassion has no enemies. - Sheng Yen
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In her book, The Next Happy, author and therapist Tracey Cleantis clarifies the concept that time heals all wounds.
“This is another platitude that tries to argue the idea that good stuff will automatically come your way if you simply endure your suffering. You know intellectually that this isn’t true. You know that if you have a cut, there are things you have to do to optimize the likelihood of healing: wash it, keep it clean, apply antibiotics….
The truth is something more like this: Time won’t necessarily heal this wound, but it won’t always hurt like it does now, and it doesn’t mean you won’t every be happy again – and above all, since you have time, why not use it wisely to move through your pain in an active and conscious way.”
“This is another platitude that tries to argue the idea that good stuff will automatically come your way if you simply endure your suffering. You know intellectually that this isn’t true. You know that if you have a cut, there are things you have to do to optimize the likelihood of healing: wash it, keep it clean, apply antibiotics….
The truth is something more like this: Time won’t necessarily heal this wound, but it won’t always hurt like it does now, and it doesn’t mean you won’t every be happy again – and above all, since you have time, why not use it wisely to move through your pain in an active and conscious way.”
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Buddhas are simply awakened sentient beings, and sentient beings are only Buddhas who have not yet awakened. - Hsing Yun
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When I had cancer, I thought it might be inconvenient or frightening, but it was interesting. It made me a lot less lazy about being present. There was a time when diagnosis, course of treatment, and outcome were all uncertain, and in that condition my mind reached for certainty over and over again. That quest, being hopeless, brought pain. But when my mind stopped reaching out and fell back into the warm dark of uncertainty, time stretched out infinitely on either side and there was a pool of joy that seemed bottomless—joy in breathing, joy in hearing the birds in the cold before dawn. Having cancer was much more exciting than sitting in an armchair watching the game on Sunday. And everything I looked at had the aspect of tenderness and delicacy. I looked into the checkout clerk’s eyes and saw the universe looking back.
- John Tarrant, Buddhist teacher and author
- John Tarrant, Buddhist teacher and author
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Zen Student: “When times of great difficulty visit us, how should we greet them?”
Teacher: “Welcome.”
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Don't wish. For you cannot both wish and will. Wishing and willing are incompatible. Wishing is an acknowledgment of inability. It is a declaration of dependence upon external events. It is waiting, not working, and wasting time and energy while you wait. - Ernest Wood
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Whether we are happy or sad depends on the mind. When we are faced with adversity we need to know how to look at the situation from a different perspective or approach the problem from a different angle. As long as we are able to change our minds, no problem is insurmountable. - Hsing Yun
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According to sociologists there is a loneliness "epidemic" in this country. While people do have connections with others via family, work, and social media, many, perhaps a majority, still feel lonely. A key reason for this may be the reality that developing a friendship takes time, considerably more time than may be expected. In fact, it can take 200 or more hours of time together to establish a "best" friend according to researcher Jeffrey Hall, professor of communications studies at the University of Kansas.
Building on earlier studies which indicate we have four levels of relationships: acquaintances, casual friends, friends and good/best friends, Hall conducted several studies arriving at these conclusions - it took about 50 hours of interaction to move from acquaintance to casual friend, about 90 hours to move from casual friend to friend, and more than 200 hours to qualify as a best friend. Those who never got beyond being acquaintances usually had spent no more than 30 hours together—the equivalent perhaps of being in the same class a few hours a week, but not seeing each other outside of the classroom.
The conclusions Hall draws from this work are straightforward, but important. “You have to invest," time and energy in order to have a deeper and authentic friendship.
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Building on earlier studies which indicate we have four levels of relationships: acquaintances, casual friends, friends and good/best friends, Hall conducted several studies arriving at these conclusions - it took about 50 hours of interaction to move from acquaintance to casual friend, about 90 hours to move from casual friend to friend, and more than 200 hours to qualify as a best friend. Those who never got beyond being acquaintances usually had spent no more than 30 hours together—the equivalent perhaps of being in the same class a few hours a week, but not seeing each other outside of the classroom.
The conclusions Hall draws from this work are straightforward, but important. “You have to invest," time and energy in order to have a deeper and authentic friendship.
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