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Emily Graham is grief blogger who says she's learning to live around the "hole" created when her seven year-old son died. When her son passed, she received a lot of advice, most of it not helpful. " I found people do not know what to say. They default to the things they have been conditioned to say during these times. It came from many different sources, most of which had never lost a child. The advice came from good intentions, but it was hollow. Not at all what I needed in that moment."
Even though the comments were well intentioned, they generated frustration and anger within her. "When someone would tell me it would be OK, I was angry. They would say everything happens for a reason and I should trust God. More anger. Then there was, 'Give it time. Time heals all wounds.' It doesn’t. Then there were the people that tried to facilitate a connection. Here, call Jane. She lost her son, too. I was not in a place talk to other bereaved mothers and hear all about their experience. Everything felt like pressure towards a direction someone else thought was best for me. Someone that had never stood where I was standing."
Along with anger, most responses simply generated self-judgment and caused her self-confidence to erode. " Everything made me mad. I hated their advice yet I found myself starting to wonder if I should listen. It didn’t resonate, but I was desperate. So I started judging my grief. It made me question everything I was doing and feel as if I was doing it all wrong. That made me more angry." Finally, she gained an insight which put her more fully on the path to recovery. Here's how she describes that moment:
"My epiphany? My grief is only about me. The journey I walk is my own. No one can tell me how to do it. I simply have to do whatever I feel is right in the moment for me. It is not my job to help make others feel better. I cannot be concerned for how they are doing. I know it sounds harsh and unfeeling. However, there is an “I” in grief. As there should be! It is the only way because MY son died! This was about Cameron and I. No one else. The rest of the world has their own path to follow and they must figure it out on their own."
Even though the comments were well intentioned, they generated frustration and anger within her. "When someone would tell me it would be OK, I was angry. They would say everything happens for a reason and I should trust God. More anger. Then there was, 'Give it time. Time heals all wounds.' It doesn’t. Then there were the people that tried to facilitate a connection. Here, call Jane. She lost her son, too. I was not in a place talk to other bereaved mothers and hear all about their experience. Everything felt like pressure towards a direction someone else thought was best for me. Someone that had never stood where I was standing."
Along with anger, most responses simply generated self-judgment and caused her self-confidence to erode. " Everything made me mad. I hated their advice yet I found myself starting to wonder if I should listen. It didn’t resonate, but I was desperate. So I started judging my grief. It made me question everything I was doing and feel as if I was doing it all wrong. That made me more angry." Finally, she gained an insight which put her more fully on the path to recovery. Here's how she describes that moment:
"My epiphany? My grief is only about me. The journey I walk is my own. No one can tell me how to do it. I simply have to do whatever I feel is right in the moment for me. It is not my job to help make others feel better. I cannot be concerned for how they are doing. I know it sounds harsh and unfeeling. However, there is an “I” in grief. As there should be! It is the only way because MY son died! This was about Cameron and I. No one else. The rest of the world has their own path to follow and they must figure it out on their own."
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(public domain photos from www.pixabay.com)
The Vedic tradition recognizes that the Divine appears, from time to time, in human form. The term used for this is "avatar" which means "one who descends". It can also mean "align" or "re-align" or "ignite." Thus avatars generally appear when humanity is at it lowest and needs inspiration to aspire higher. There are 24 recognized avatars with the three most well known being Buddha, Krishna and Rama. Into the twentieth century, avatars could include such inspiring humans as Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Jr., and the Dalai Lama, all of whom can be viewed as presenting Divinity and a Higher Self in human form.
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Knowing oneself means being self-aware in a balanced way, and neither focusing only on your strengths (the source of arrogance) or only on your weaknesses (the source of low self-esteem). In truth, strengths and weaknesses coexist in all of us. - Rabbi Joseph Telushkin
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. . . is Finland!
During one year, the average person in Finland consumes more than 24 pounds of coffee. That’s the equivalent of 4.5 cups per day or an incredible 1,650 cups a year. For the country as a whole, it means that 8.5 billion cups or 531.5 million gallons of coffee are sipped each year within Finland. After Finland, countries which consume the most coffee are the Netherlands, Norway, Denmark and Sweden. Coffee is also popular around the world with more than 400 billion cups consumed.
During one year, the average person in Finland consumes more than 24 pounds of coffee. That’s the equivalent of 4.5 cups per day or an incredible 1,650 cups a year. For the country as a whole, it means that 8.5 billion cups or 531.5 million gallons of coffee are sipped each year within Finland. After Finland, countries which consume the most coffee are the Netherlands, Norway, Denmark and Sweden. Coffee is also popular around the world with more than 400 billion cups consumed.
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Hinduism respects all faiths and believes in interfaith harmony through the celebration of common principles. - Narayan Aksharpith
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Live your life
and
forget your age. - Norman Vincent Peale
and
forget your age. - Norman Vincent Peale
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Simply being outside in nature brings healing and happiness. Every spring I take my indoor plants outdoors and they blossom and bloom in ways they never seem to when indoors. The same principle applies to us humans: being outside is good for us. The Japanese and Scandinavians engage in something called "forest bathing" which means spending time outside in forested areas. Here's how to do that from Dr. Qing Li, author of Forest Bathing: How Trees Can Help You Find Health And Happiness.
"The key to unlocking the power of the forest is in the five senses. Let nature enter through your ears, eyes, nose, mouth, hands and feet. Listen to the birds singing and the breeze rustling in the leaves of the trees. Look at the different greens of the trees and the sunlight filtering through the branches. Smell the fragrance of the forest and breathe in the natural aromatherapy of phytoncides. Taste the freshness of the air as you take deep breaths. Place your hands on the trunk of a tree. Dip your fingers or toes in a stream. Lie on the ground. Drink in the flavor of the forest and release your sense of joy and calm. This is your sixth sense, a state of mind. Now you have connected with nature. You have crossed the bridge to happiness."
"The key to unlocking the power of the forest is in the five senses. Let nature enter through your ears, eyes, nose, mouth, hands and feet. Listen to the birds singing and the breeze rustling in the leaves of the trees. Look at the different greens of the trees and the sunlight filtering through the branches. Smell the fragrance of the forest and breathe in the natural aromatherapy of phytoncides. Taste the freshness of the air as you take deep breaths. Place your hands on the trunk of a tree. Dip your fingers or toes in a stream. Lie on the ground. Drink in the flavor of the forest and release your sense of joy and calm. This is your sixth sense, a state of mind. Now you have connected with nature. You have crossed the bridge to happiness."
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Grow full with good qualities
like the moon on the fifteenth day.
With discernment at total fullness,
burst the mass of darkness. - Punna Sutra
like the moon on the fifteenth day.
With discernment at total fullness,
burst the mass of darkness. - Punna Sutra
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Humility is a component of altruism, since the humble person is naturally concerned about others and attentive to their well-being. - Matthieu Ricard
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Don't fear failure. If you do,
you won't.... try, act, risk or
set goals. There's nothing
to fear. Go for it.
- Victor M. Parachin