- Published on
According to sociologists there is a loneliness "epidemic" in this country. While people do have connections with others via family, work, and social media, many, perhaps a majority, still feel lonely. A key reason for this may be the reality that developing a friendship takes time, considerably more time than may be expected. In fact, it can take 200 or more hours of time together to establish a "best" friend according to researcher Jeffrey Hall, professor of communications studies at the University of Kansas.
Building on earlier studies which indicate we have four levels of relationships: acquaintances, casual friends, friends and good/best friends, Hall conducted several studies arriving at these conclusions - it took about 50 hours of interaction to move from acquaintance to casual friend, about 90 hours to move from casual friend to friend, and more than 200 hours to qualify as a best friend. Those who never got beyond being acquaintances usually had spent no more than 30 hours together—the equivalent perhaps of being in the same class a few hours a week, but not seeing each other outside of the classroom.
The conclusions Hall draws from this work are straightforward, but important. “You have to invest," time and energy in order to have a deeper and authentic friendship.
ll
Building on earlier studies which indicate we have four levels of relationships: acquaintances, casual friends, friends and good/best friends, Hall conducted several studies arriving at these conclusions - it took about 50 hours of interaction to move from acquaintance to casual friend, about 90 hours to move from casual friend to friend, and more than 200 hours to qualify as a best friend. Those who never got beyond being acquaintances usually had spent no more than 30 hours together—the equivalent perhaps of being in the same class a few hours a week, but not seeing each other outside of the classroom.
The conclusions Hall draws from this work are straightforward, but important. “You have to invest," time and energy in order to have a deeper and authentic friendship.
ll
- Published on
If love is real, it will be evident in our daily life, in the way we relate with people and the world. - Thich Nhat Hanh
- Published on
Generosity should not be understood as only giving material wealth. If you have a good heart, speaking good words can be a form of generosity. If you have a lot of energy, service can be a form of generosity. - Hsing Yun
- Published on
Last night at our Sangha Day Meditation Retreat, we recited what is called "Buddha's Golden Chain of Love" -
I am a link in Buddha’s golden chain
of love that stretches around the world.
I must keep my link bright and strong.
I must think only good thoughts.
I must speak only good words.
I must do only good deeds.
May all people everywhere become
links in Buddha’s golden chain of love.
I am a link in Buddha’s golden chain
of love that stretches around the world.
I must keep my link bright and strong.
I must think only good thoughts.
I must speak only good words.
I must do only good deeds.
May all people everywhere become
links in Buddha’s golden chain of love.
- Published on
Because I live and do my work in Oklahoma, I live in the Bible belt. That can't be changed. However, many people here also live in the worry belt. That's something which can be changed. - Victor M. Parachin
- Published on
“Great Vow for Mindful Activists”:Aware of suffering and injustice, I, _________, am working to create a more just, peaceful, and sustainable world. I promise, for the benefit of all, to practice self-care, mindfulness, healing, and joy. I vow to not burn out.
- Mushim Patricia Ikeda
- Mushim Patricia Ikeda
- Published on
Seekers of virtue!
If one becomes accustomed to discipline, then one will come to dwell in meditation.If one becomes accustomed to meditation, then one will come to attain wisdom.
If one becomes accustomed to wisdom, then one will be totally liberated from greed, hatred, and delusion.
—Buddha Shakyamuni, Śikṣa Traya Nāma Sūtra
If one becomes accustomed to discipline, then one will come to dwell in meditation.If one becomes accustomed to meditation, then one will come to attain wisdom.
If one becomes accustomed to wisdom, then one will be totally liberated from greed, hatred, and delusion.
—Buddha Shakyamuni, Śikṣa Traya Nāma Sūtra
- Published on
If you see good, imitate it. If you have faults, rid yourself of them. - I Ching
- Published on
Bruce Lee became the most famous actor - martial artist in the world. A vital part of his success was his ability to continually improve himself.
Pat Strong was one of his first students in Seattle in 1961 and became his good friend. He was impressed by the lengths to which Lee would go to improve himself. “Bruce realized he was small, which meant he had to be super fast, so he started to develop his timing by studying boxing and fencing; he knew he wasn’t as strong as many of his opponents, so he began to develop his body strength; he wanted to improve his balance, so he studied ballet.” Lee was on a “constant journey” to maximize his strengths and minimize his weaknesses, Strong added.
How far would you be willing to go to improve yourself? Would you take ballet to improve you balance? Would you study boxing and then fencing to improve your timing? Would you develop your body with heavy weight lifting to increase strength? How far would you be willing to go to improve yourself is a question we all need to ask ourselves.
Pat Strong was one of his first students in Seattle in 1961 and became his good friend. He was impressed by the lengths to which Lee would go to improve himself. “Bruce realized he was small, which meant he had to be super fast, so he started to develop his timing by studying boxing and fencing; he knew he wasn’t as strong as many of his opponents, so he began to develop his body strength; he wanted to improve his balance, so he studied ballet.” Lee was on a “constant journey” to maximize his strengths and minimize his weaknesses, Strong added.
How far would you be willing to go to improve yourself? Would you take ballet to improve you balance? Would you study boxing and then fencing to improve your timing? Would you develop your body with heavy weight lifting to increase strength? How far would you be willing to go to improve yourself is a question we all need to ask ourselves.
- Published on
Certain people uplift you; others pull you down. Certain people give you strength; others sap your energy. Choose carefully. Good friends are an endless benefit, a treasure. Bad friends can ruin a lifetime. - Wu Wei