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We have a responsibility to control the mind. When the mind is focused on right thoughts, right actions, right words, right effort and right understanding, its impact can be enormous. The opposite is equally true. A focus on evil, greed, jealousy and self-interest can have a horrific impact. We all need to make time to quiet the mind and place our focus on healthy, wholesome thoughts.
-Victor M Parachin, Eastern Wisdom for Western Minds If you want to be happier, more content, more confident, more productive and feel far less stressed, take this one simple step: search others for their virtues. . . . Too often, people spend time seeing others' flaws, faults and failings. As a result, many people are left deflated and debilitated, feeling they're not good enough, smart enough, successful enough, fast enough. . . . You can change that! Search others for their virtues. Train yourself to see the good, the positive, the noble, the heroic in others.
-Victor M Parachin, Think Like the Buddha There are many voices inside our minds, all of them crying out for attention. Get to know your unique inner talk so that you can effectively control it, much like the way a choir director leads a group of singers. What kind of voices are in your head? Are they sad, negative, joyless, frustrated, dispirited ones? Are they happy, positive, joyful, peaceful, passionate ones? Most of us have a blend of those two extremes. . . .
Take charge of your inner dialogue. When disturbing and negative voices emerge, notice them without judging them harshly, and direct them gently to soften and ease up. Simultaneously, pay attention to the voices that express gratitude, joy, compassion, kindness, love, peace, strength, humor. Direct your voices toward hope, happiness, harmony and your life with reflect those very qualities. -Victor M Parachin, Think Like the Buddha The simple act of writing a gratitude letter to someone can boost your level of happiness and place your focus toward the positives about your life. In a recent experiment done by Steve Toepfer, assistant professor in Human Development and Family Studies at Kent State University, he asked subjects to write a meaningful letter of gratitude to anyone they wanted. The more letters people wrote the less they reported feeling symptoms of depression, and they noted feeling happier and more satisfied with life overall. "If you are looking to increase your wellbeing through intentional activities, . . . write letters of gratitude to someone," Toepfer says. "There is a cumulative effect, too. If you write over time, you'll feel happier, you'll feel more satisfied, and if you're suffering from depressive symptoms, your symptoms will decrease."
-Victor M Parachin, "Five Steps to a More Positive Attitude" Only you can exercise control of your thoughts. The ancient Indian sage Patanjali had this advice: "When presented with disquieting thoughts or feelings, cultivate an opposite elevated attitude." His wisdom is a reminder that we have the power to manage our own minds, that we can abruptly change what we imagine, feel and think. But there are times our mind seems to be engaged in a struggle for territory--a fight between positive thoughts vs. negative thoughts. Become a mental warrior and rally yourself to win that battle by taking control of your thoughts.
Here are some examples of switching perceptions from the negative to the positive: - For "I'll never get that job," switch to "I've got a strong resume, better than most." - For "I'm too old to return to college," switch over to "Many second career people return to school, and I can be one of them." - And for "I never get what I want," switch over to "I deserve the best life has to offer." -Victor M Parachin, "Five Steps to a More Positive Attitude" "You'll find that life is still worthwhile if you just smile," said silent screen star Charlie Chaplin. A study recently published in Psychological Science revealed that breaking into a genuine smile--one that engages the muscles around the mouth as well as those around the eyes--reduces your heart rate after a stressful event. "Whether you feel happy while smiling doesn't matter," said lead author of that study Tara Kraft. "Muscle activation alone does the trick."
As you go through the day, try smiling at everyone you encounter--be it family, friends, colleagues, or even strangers. And, when you smile, it is highly likely they will smile back, making the brief encounter friendlier and warmer. You'll see that your spirits will rise and you'll experience a positive feeling. "A warm smile is the universal language of kindness," said American motivational author William Arther Ward. -Victor M Parachin, "Five Steps to a More Positive Attitude" Those who are grieving should think about that truth--attitudes are more important than facts. The fact is that you have lost a loved one to death. The grief is hard, and the journey is lonely. Yet your attitude can triumph over the fact about loss. Adopt the attitude that you will overcome, that you will transform pain into gain, that you will become an enlarged person as a result of this hard experience.
-Victor M Parachin, Healing Grief Minister and psychologist Ann Kaiser Stearns has interviewed and studied survivors from all sorts of tragedies--people whose lives were shattered by disease, death, chronic pain, and being prisoners of war. In her book Coming Back: Rebuilding Lives after Crisis and Loss, she cites the following as attitudes crucial for overcoming adversity:
- I will not be defeated - I will vividly examine the future - I will take advantage of available opportunities - I will not assume the victim posture - I will accept life's challenges - I can do it if I set my mind to it - I have to be willing to expand - I will find a way to get what I want - I am consciously deciding to be in the company of good people Study this list carefully. Make these your attitudes as you manage mourning. And when facing discouragement or even despair over your circumstances, keep in mind the truth that attitudes are more important than facts. -Victor M Parachin, Healing Grief |
Victor M. Parachin ... aVedic educator, yoga instructor, Buddhist meditation teacher and author of a dozen books. Buy his books at amazon or your local bookstore. Sadly, Victor passed away in August 2025, but his blog continues. Janet Parachin, his partner of 45 years, shares quotes from his books and articles each week. Archives
May 2026
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