Blog Archives

Responding Versus Reacting

11/29/2025

When we are mindful, we create a space between a reaction and a response. And in that space we can access the wisdom that empowers us to move from reaction to reflection to response. Unlike a reaction, in which we are controlled by difficult thoughts and emotions, mindfulness creates a gap moment that allows us to control the response. In the gap we can pause, analyze and respond in a way that is skillful, positive and helpful.
-Victor M Parachin, Think Like the Buddha

Nature Meditation with Eyes Open

11/25/2025

- Take several deep inhalations and exhalations.
- Begin to breathe normally.
- Focus on sight: Take in the surroundings--trees, grass, birds, insects, etc.
- Focus on sounds--birds singing, people talking, walking, jogging or biking, etc.
- Focus on smells--flowers, the earth, someone barbecuing, etc.
- Focus on touch. Place your hands on the earth, feel the tree supporting your back.
- Finish by expressing gratitude to Mother Earth for her beauty.
-Victor M Parachin, Sit a Bit

Support for Grief during the Holidays

11/22/2025

It's important for any griever at any time of the year to have a support system available. This is especially true during December when holidays can magnify the sense of loss and loneliness. However, a support system doesn't just appear. It has to be cultivated and populated with a handful of individuals who truly understand what it means to grieve. Sometimes a family member or friend can offer this, but frequently that is not the case. Identify those whom you know to be good comforters and spend time with them. Another excellent option is to find and join a grief support group. Check online to see if there's one in your community. In a support group you will find others just like you, who will listen without judgment, offer unconditional support and be role models of grief recovery. Often those who participate in support groups make new friendships which continue years down the road.
-Victor M Parachin, "The Empty Chair," in Messenger of Saint Anthony, November 2025

Equanimity or Balance

11/18/2025

A popular teaching in the Zen tradition is equanimity or balance in the presence of various life issues. . . . Equanimity is something which ought to be brought to all events which come our way. In times of pain or pleasure, in times of sorrow and happiness, we can train ourselves not to be carried away by our emotions remembering to remain in a balanced state.

For example, when we learn someone has gossiped about us we do not react by gossiping back nor feeling broken by what was said. When we are treated with contempt and rudeness, we do not lash out with anger. Or, when someone we love has been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, we do not collapse in dread. We choose to remain balanced, calm, even serene.
-Victor M Parachin, Buddhist Wisdom for Beginners

Meditate on Your True Nature

11/15/2025

Many times we're too hard on ourselves and view ourselves as weak, ineffective, hesitant and timid. That becomes so ingrained in our thoughts that we come to believe it's our true nature. However, Buddhist thought teaches just the opposite. Buddhists like to remind us that whenever we look into a mirror, we are seeing a Buddha. Our true nature is Buddhahood and everything that implies.

One way of actualizing our true nature is to meditate upon it. Sit comfortably and take a few deep inhalations/exhalations. Then return to normal breathing. Then repeat these three statements slowly, carefully, over and over during your five-minute meditation.

- Joy is my true nature.
- Love is my true nature.
- Peace is my true nature.
-Victor M Parachin, Sit a Bit

Thoughts on Dying and Living

11/11/2025

Though it sounds dark and unpleasant, the Buddhist tradition has strongly stressed the importance of thinking about one's own death. The reason: a meditation on death is a powerful tool for developing insight into the best way of living a meaningful, significant and satisfying life. . . .

If this was the last day of my life,
- what would I do?
- what would I say?
- who would I be with?
-Victor M Parachin, Think Like the Buddha

Let Friends Be Your Lifeline

11/8/2025

The right people for grievers include those who listen compassionately and without judgment and who respond with these kinds of empathy statements:

- This must be very difficult for you.
- This has got to be hard to accept.
- What can I do? How can I help?
- I'm so sorry.
- Tell me more.
- It's okay to cry.
- Call me whenever you want to talk.
- You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Compassionate listeners do more listening than speaking. They never make you feel as though you have been judged or misunderstood. You know that they know your pain or, at the very least, are trying hard to understand and be supportive. Blanket yourself with these kinds of people.
-Victor M Parachin, Healing Grief

You May Be an Awakened Person

11/4/2025

We are awakened (enlightened) women and men if. . .
-We are less preoccupied with ourselves and more concerned about helping others;
-We naturally, spontaneously express kindness, compassion, acceptance, love;
-We are patient with others and with ourselves;
-We are generally peaceful and serene;
-We are generous with our time, talent and material possessions;
-We feel both sadness and compassion for the condition of the world;
-We wish to relieve suffering of other beings;
-We realize that life is precious to all, human and all sentient beings--animals, fish, insects;
-We enjoy nature and being outside--it's not a coincidence the Buddha became enlightened while meditating outside, under a tree.
Victor M Parachin, Buddhist Wisdom for Beginners

Joy for Yourself and Others

11/1/2025

Eleanor Roosevelt once advised, "Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give." Here is a meditation to heighten the joy in your life.

Look back over the last seven days--one week--meditatively asking:

1) Where did I experience joy? Pause to ponder carefully.
2) Where did I bring joy? Pause to ponder carefully.
3) Where can I deliver joy? This time look into the next seven days--one week--identifying people and places where you can transmit joy.
-Victor M Parachin, Sit a Bit